Feel the fear, then do it anyway
I’m currently editing the first Ball Wonder scene (at the time of this blog posting), and it brings up all my old anxieties about myself. I’m not good looking, I’m not naturally fit, I have a small cock, I’m not tall, my teeth aren’t perfect, my hairline is bad, my facial expressions are irritating, my voice sounds dumb, I look terrible in profile, my clothes don’t look good on me, I can’t act, she thinks I’m not suited for this, everyone is judging me… the list goes on. However, you’re obviously reading this, which means I obviously wrote it which also means I obviously shot the scene anyway, in spite all those anxieties, and all that is true. I don’t let those anxieties alter even one thing I do. I do it anyway. That’s the “sky diver’s” motto:
Feel the fear, then do it anyway.
You don’t have to survive cancer to apply the same method to living your life. You also don’t have to be a skydiver to have fear in your life. You might be afraid or relationships, afraid of losing your job, being judged by someone else, rejection, success, commitment, whatever. Fear is healthy. It’s part of our evolutionary makeup. It’s an instinctual emotion that warns us of danger. The problem is, without tigers to flee from, that fear response sometimes gets re-wired, and we become afraid of irrational things, like rejection by people we’re attracted to. That fear can become overwhelming. We’re biologically hard-wired to feel it. Skydivers feel it. So do the best pickup artists. However, they’ve learned to work through the fear. They know it happens and just ignore it. They feel it, yes, but they don’t fail to act based only on its warning signals. That comes with confidence. Confidence comes with experience. Experience comes by doing something once, then twice, then three times and so on. Each time feeling the fear, embracing the mistakes you make as a result and learning.
It’s okay to feel that way. What you’ll do when you feel that way is the more important question to answer. Feel your fear (about whatever it is), then do it anyway.
October 28, 2017