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How it all began

My brush with cancer was actually, quite un-dramatic. I noticed my right testicle was swollen without pain on a Thursday. I saw my Doctor on the following Monday. He sent me to a urologist on Wednesday. The urologist booked an operating room for that Friday. I was cancer-free by Saturday. The followng couple years weren't great (more about that in another post), but essentially, I was cancer-free and recovering from surgery well before the word "cancer" even settled in. I was extremely lucky. It was actually several years later when it really hit me.

One morning I got up and started getting ready for work. I wasn't thinking about it or having any feelings whatsoever. Normal morning. I was about to brush my teeth, and I looked in the mirror. Suddenly, and unexpectedly, I just froze, staring at myself. The thought immediately hit me... "You almost weren't standing there. You had cancer. You could have died." It was a strange moment. Not emotionally charged. Not terrifying. Just, very matter-of-fact. Like the results of a science experiement were suddely revealed. I stood there holding that thought for, likely, 15 minutes. It was literally that moment that my brain shifted. I realized every day was a Christmas gift. From that morning on, I was in "after cancer" mode.

Like any other red-blooded straight guy, I'd wished I'd been dealt better cards in life. Why wasn't I born 6'3 with a 12 inch cock, good metabolism in LA where I could get porn work? Oh well, life chooses the lucky, I guess. However, that morning, I re-evaluated that previous position, all in the span of a few seconds - standing there, still staring at myself in the mirror. "Why... why would I let anything stop me from doing anything that I want to do? What if I did die? What... game over? Tough luck? Uh, no. That's not how it's going down." That was it. Then, I brushed my teeth, got ready and left for work. Within just a few months after that, I started Test1 Productions. Then, every day happened right up until this moment that I'm writing this blog post. Everything that's happened was up to me, not anyone else. That was the lesson I learned in front of that mirror on that random weird morning. Do the things you want to do. You don't have forever. And, enjoy yourself while you're at it. Otherwise, what's the point?

I learned my lesson.

October 19, 2017

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